25 Sep

“Why,” I berate myself grumpily, walking across Campus today, “Did I just write — on that pop quiz in history — that the Peleponnesian War was between Athens and Macedonia? For Pete’s sakes, I know better than this!”

So if you happen to attend St. Cloud University, and you just saw a shaggy man stomping across campus muttering “Sparta Sparta Sparta Sparta Sparta” then, well, now you know why.


My other school thought, and it’s a permenant frustration beyond School, is that I am always frustated by how little I know. There is so much to learn, and I know so little of it. There’s nothing to be done about it, there’s more in the world than I could ever learn in a lifetime. More books than I could read in all my days. And that’s fine by me, better than running out of things to learn and read someday.

But it frustrates me, the huge pile of books sitting at home that I’m waiting to read. A trip to Barnes & Noble, or my local used bookstore, is an exercise in frustration. Even when I just pass a table of classics that I haven’t read.

And history classes, like today, so full of bits I didn’t know about the early days of the Roman Empire — something that I’ve studied, on my own, at good length anyway — just drives me up the wall and leaves me feeling frustrated, as I said, and a bit inadequate.

But not much. And what frustration there is, I just channel into reading more, and learning more, and thinking more. It’s a good way to live, you ask me. And may I never feel so Adequately learned that I stop.

It’s raining and cold here, and occasionally, everything is interrupted by astonishingly violent flashes of lightening and rolls of thunder. Terrific weather.

And on that note, I’m going to go sit by a window and read A Tale of Two Cities, which I bought a copy of yesterday (I’ve read it many times, but I didn’t own it for some reason. Now I’m reading it again. It’s my favorite Charles Dickens novel, and I adore all of them, so that says something.)

Have a lovely afternoon, you lot.


Posted by on September 25, 2008 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Regrets

  1. tjwriter

    September 26, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    Oh, Pete, I totally understand that one. I can’t count the number of times that I walked out of a classroom and started kicking myself because the answer to something didn’t hit me until I’d turned the test in.

    And the learning thing is a tough one. It’s so hard for me to decide to purchase things in a bookstore. There’s a wealth of thoughts there, and how can you choose just a few? This is where the internet has been my friend. I love reading about studies, opinions and theories. It’s addicting.

  2. Pete Tzinski

    September 26, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    It really, really addicting, I agree. I chat in e-mail, sure, but otherwise I spend way, WAY too much time studying things on the internet. The internet isn’t really in-depth, or accurate all the time, but it makes a great set of cliff’s notes. If I’m interested in an author (Tolkien, for example) then I’ll read his biography on Wikipedia, and then that gives me enough knowledge to comfortably get into a proper book biography on him.

    And yeah, the bookstore is just awful. I go in and find a dozen things without looking. And I can’t buy them all. And even if I did, I’d still be stuck with the awful knowledge that I don’t have enough hours in the day to actually READ all of them.

    But you know what REALLY gets me? I was watching a video that showed Harlan Ellison talking in his library and wandering around. It was huge and beautiful. I’ve read elsewhere that he owns 250,000 books. That drives me nuts. Why don’t *I* own that many?

    It’s good to have goals. 🙂


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