Here I am.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and I’m sorry about that. In an effort not to totally vanish from the internet (because then how would I know if I exist or not?) I’ll try to at least blog a little more. I like blogging.
Mostly, I vanished because the writing was going so, SO slowly that I just had no free time. And I felt that if I wasn’t writing, I shouldn’t be blogging/facebooking/youtubing/whatever else you want to think of.
So mostly I just stopped. The majority of the internettery, I don’t feel like being involved in. I’ve got so much writing to do.
Last night, I wrote for two-plus hours, curled on the couch with my notebook illuminated by a book light. I wrote and wrote and did six or seven pages and finally FINISHED the story I’ve been toiling on for far too long. It ended well enough. Fingers crossed. I won’t know if the story sucks or not until I begin typing it up.
(When I type it up, it’s easy to tell if it sucks. If I get BORED typing up MY OWN STORY, then it’s rubbish. If I still enjoy bits and am glad to have done it, even if I have problems with it, then it’s fine and I can continue to move forward. One story, I got so bored I just stopped typing. I may revisit it for a new draft.)
My stories are hit and miss these days, and that’s fine by me. I think it was Harlan Ellison who said that if every story is a hit and is satisfying, then you aren’t trying hard enough. (I can’t find him saying that quote, though. Maybe *I* have said it, and just attributed it to someone else). If every story works, then I’m not pushing. If the stories succeed, or sometimes fail, then it means I’m stretching my boundaries and occasionally falling down. That’s how it should be.
Finishing this story (it’s called “Keepers”) marks a turning point for the only writing problem I have any angst about these days, namely, my SPEED. I am so slow. It takes me so, so long to turn out even one short story, and I hate that.
It’s not a mysterious problem. I’ve got two kids, both quite young, I’m in school, I have housework to keep up on. It’s hardly a shock I’m slow at writing, and to be honest, I don’t have THAT much angst about it. Still, to say “I have kids and school so I’m slow” is an excuse if I let it be one, and I don’t want to.
I get frustrated and cranky when I go too long without writing, but I ALSO get frustrated when I have too many ideas logjammed in my head that I’m not working through fast enough…and boy have I got that. So having finished this took-too-long-to-write story, I’ve decided I’m now going to accelerate. I have so much work to do, and I take pleasure in doing it.
So. what’s next? And why am I even talking about what’s next? Because this blog is a sort of diary-out-loud, and it’ll be amusing to look back in a year at what I THINK I know is coming up. Isn’t that silly?
1) A short story about porn, chicken, and a plastic gorilla. (Mostly, it’s about big families.)
2) A short story which is a proper horror story, and which would make a decent short film. Once I write the story, I sort of want to write a script of it, just for my own edification.
3) Episode 8 (and 9-15-ish) of God in the Machine. I want to get the first season done (or volume, or book, whatever word you need to stop the nosebleeds, sheesh)
4) I have a big ol’ comic series that came to me in a massive avalanche epiphany the other day, and I’ve been doodling notes and ideas for it ever since. I want to write the script for the first issue or two, mostly to see if I can (comic scripting doesn’t come naturally to me for some reason) and also so I can go start harrassing a couple of artists with it. They’ll be so thrilled.
5) I have a REALLY WEIRD tiny web series that I want to start working on, in a halfhearted way. This is pretty far down my list of priorities. If it works, it could replace my blogging altogether. Pretty lazy on this front though.
6) A project for Kristine Williams’ Midnight Reading Evil International Publishing Corporation. (I want to plot this out and write it, quick and dirty and fun, as a warm-up “this is how you do it” exercise before number seven on this list.)
7) A novel I’ve been tooling with for ages now.
So there. that’s my list. I like making lists. I should probably seek counselling for it. Should I put that on the list?
I need to blog about pets and childrens’ books, but that’ll have to wait. For now, I need to go transcribe some gibber into a notebook, so it’ll be neater gibber. And I need to fiddle with Google Documents and decide if they’ve worked out enough of the problems that I can actually put it to use (I play with it every few months or so and am never impressed enough to use it).