While I’m ranting about stuff, let’s talk about some TV channels. A&E, TLC, Bravo, Animal Planet, and so on. Those sort of channels.
They drive me nuts. They are entirely filled with programming which can, essentially, be translated into “omigawwwwd lookit these FREAKS can you believe this??”
Short people! People with too many kids! People with too much body weight, too much stuff in their house, too many drugs in their system, too many animals. Pick something, and there’s a show about it.
And my problem isn’t actually with these people. These people have issues and they need to be adressed…it’s with the networks. It’s creepy and trashy and insulting, the freakshow attitude — straight out of an old carnival, complete with the moaning, thrashing geek in the cage — rather than, say, examining and considering these people. It’s pure ego and freakshow, and it pisses me off.
It’s tabloid garbage, it’s Jerry Springer material. It’s mean-spirited and disgusting and it drives me up the fuckin’ wall. If it has to be on TV, it would be done as a thoughtful examination of the causation and solution to these problems. And not just “dis fat man?? he got lots of dogs!! omigawwwd! dis girl had a baby when she was way young dat hella tuff yo!”
It’s insulting, to the people who have these myriad problems in real life, to the people who try to help them, and to the viewers sitting at home. They should be watching better. I don’t see that as elitist even remotely. It’s like someone saying “you shouldn’t have to eat that. You should be able to eat THIS, this amazing dish. You’d love it and it would be better for you. I’d love for you to be eating this.”
Instead, the channels shovel creepy shit.
And you can learn all about my views on this and more matters on my new show on TLC when I plan to travel the country on a unicycle, shooting heroin into my eyeballs and dealing with my lingering issues with pogonophobia while smacking people who had made these TV shows with a baseball bat.
Or, possibly, I’ll drink some tea, bitch on an internet blog, and then get on with my day. I might do that instead.
It’s not chickening out. I mean, this is a really good pot of mango black tea. I’m just saying.
[one wee edit done, to fix a sentence toward the end for clarity. high ho.]